By Mark Ivar Myhre
How do you forgive yourself when you really did do something
wrong?
Something that hurt another - maybe seriously. Or something
that hurt yourself so badly that other people were affected
as well.
Lets look at it a little closer.
First, you did something wrong. A wrong was committed.
No argument there. Any jury in the land would agree; you
were wrong to do what you did.
Well, okay, you made a mistake. But it's also a mistake to
not forgive yourself. If you don't forgive yourself, then
you are also committing another wrong.
Do two wrongs make a right?
Am I going to compound my first wrong with a second wrong?
Many people would. Because it's the easy way out. It's so much
simpler and easier to just judge yourself and punish yourself
rather than to honestly dig deep and look at the situation in
the light of day.
When you judge anything you freeze it into place. Judgments are
designed to avoid pain and avoid responsibility and to punish
either yourself or another.
It's way too easy to judge. Responsibility, on the other hand,
seems difficult and unpleasant. And I have to be responsible if
I want to forgive myself for this crime I really did commit that
hurt myself and others.
But if I don't forgive then I'm taking the coward's way out.
I know it doesn't seem that way. It seems like forgiveness is
the copout, and the 'manly' thing to do is to suffer for my sins.
Even if I'm a woman!
And I use the word 'manly' because lack of forgiveness is a
function of chauvinism. Unfortunately, chauvinism is a living,
breathing energy. It exists independently of you and me. And
it's MUCH more than a man dominating a woman. That's only the
tip of the iceberg!
If you look carefully at modern society, you'll see we're
immersed so deeply into chauvinism and domination that it's
hard to even imagine living any other way. Whether you're a
man or a woman.... most likely you feel the effects of chauvinism
in a profound way.
Suffering... struggling... punishing.... these are all functions
of chauvinism. Chauvinism says you're SUPPOSED to suffer for
your sins. And forgiveness doesn't really mean anything anyway.
Suffering holds value. While forgiveness is avoiding the
suffering and punishment you deserve. That's the lie of
chauvinism.
And that's the backdrop of why it's so hard to forgive yourself
even under the best of circumstances.
Because we've all been so conditioned to believe the lies of
chauvinism.
If you want to forgive yourself for this very real crime, then
you're going to have to be RESPONSIBLE for your crime. You'll
have to 'own' it. Ownership and responsibility are the exact
opposites of copping out. They require you to think and feel;
to dig deep; to look closer; to make evaluations.
You bring your crime closer if you wish to forgive. You have to
understand it and FEEL it - not judge it.
And remember, there's no understanding in judgment! When you
freeze it into place, you can never resolve it. You keep the
pain and the past alive when you judge your crimes.
Chauvinism by its very nature is always cowardly. It doesn't
want you to think and feel and evaluate and be responsible.
Chauvinism wants you to punish and judge yourself. Chauvinism
wants you to turn against yourself - and NOT do the responsible
thing - which involves knowing yourself more, and therefore
being able to forgive and heal.
So which road will you take?
More loving and healing? Or more punishment and suffering?
The choice is always up to you.
If you're ready to take the path of healing and growing and
changing then click on the link below -
http://XXXX.forgiveme.hop.clickbank.net
all the best,
Mark
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
PS - If you really feel you must beat yourself up, at least
set a time limit on how much longer you're going to punish
yourself. Then when you're done, head on over to -
http://XXXX.forgiveme.hop.clickbank.net